1. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck, so let’s drink these pints and get messed up.
2. Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And beer makes you not remember any of that crap.
3. The liver is evil and must be punished.
4. Of all my favorite things to do,
The utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer’s so frothy, smooth and cold;
It’s paradise, pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me.
That’s all for now, I gotta pee.
5. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. (Sinatra)
6. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic
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